Modern married couples just might do well to emulate some of the successful strategies of their happily married parents and grandparents. WebMD asked relationship experts if “old fashioned” practices could offer longevity, stability and pleasure to marriages. The answer? Yes! Read on for ways to incorporate these retro practices into your own relationship.
Retro Relationship Tip No. 1: Reinstate Civility
"Please," "thank you," and "may I" are phrases that seem to have all but disappeared from present-day vocabularies, especially with our loved ones. Counselor Joyce Morley-Ball, EdD, offers some specifics: "Show her that chivalry is not dead…This act of affection shows that she is important and there is a level of respect for her."
Retro Relationship Tip No. 2: Maintain Same-Sex Friends -- and Interests
During the past couple of decades, a new expectation has developed that couples should share a bulk of their free time together. Relationship expert Kathy Stafford recommends that we keep close ties with same-sex friends throughout our marriage. "My parents had separate interests… This gave them both time to cultivate their own interests, and they weren't totally reliant on each other for their entertainment."
Retro Relationship Tip No. 3: Look Sharp
Les Parrott, PhD, and professor of psychology at Seattle Pacific University, says you can inspire romance by dressing up for the occasion. "With our hectic schedules, it's tempting to resort to sweatpants all weekend or immediately changing into a ratty T-shirt after work. Instead, dress up the next time you and your spouse have dinner or plan a night out…Taking time with your appearance inspires romance and shows your partner you care."
Retro Relationship Tip No. 4: Hit the Dance Floor or Go for a Walk
Dance teaches a language of leading and yielding. Paul Bolotovsky, a dance instructor in New York, says "The old days of ballroom dancing and swing have a lot to offer today's couples…The touch, teamwork, energy, music, anticipation and companionship are all wonderful byproducts after a night of dancing." If you have two left feet, take a stroll hand-in-hand at a local park.
Retro Relationship Tip No. 5: Have Couples Fun
“Play board games with other couples!” says Rhonda Fine, PhD, “It's fun and a great way to be social with others and playful with one another." Parrott says, "Your goal is to become close with other couples with similar standards and interests who have positive attitudes about marriage and family life…Friends like these are good for your marriage and overall well-being."
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